Paragraph Structure

Good Recount:

After maybe a half an hour later, the path suddenly became difficult to climb. The path became extremely steep and the surface changed as well. It  changed from stones to loose gravel. We tried to take huge steps but each time we did, we would slip back down. We kept going and dealt with the hard climbing. We even had to use our hands to hold onto the gravel. After a while we came to a huge sign which had Japanese letters on it which had a bunch of pathways. I read it because neither Dom or Alex could read Japanese, and so know which pathway to take. Instead I found out we were on the service road which is for bulldozers, and diggers. Me, Dom, and Alex admitted to each other we were stupid.

Bad Recount: 

After maybe a half an hour. And then the path became very difficult to climb. The path became extremely steep. The path’s surface changed. It changed from tightly packed stones to loose gravel. We started using large steps to try and move forward, but each time we took a step, we slipped back down. We had lost sight of other people climbing, but when we did spot people they seemed to be walking alongside us but at a different elevation. We kept on with the hard climbing. We even used our hands to hold onto the gravel. After a while we came to an intersection with a large sign showing different paths around and up Mt Fuji.  I could read Japanese whereas the others couldn’t, so I tried to figure out where to go. Instead I ended up finding out that we had climbed up the service road! This road was used for bulldozers, diggers and other heavy machinery that could travel on difficult roads. We all agreed we were stupid.

LI: to correct certain structure and language features in a recount, and to evaluate writing samples using the PBS writing rubric, and to correct certain structure and language features in a recount.

This week for Writing my writing group learned about Paragraph Structure. The Structure of a paragraph is TEE. T stands for Topic Sentence, E stands for Explanation, and the other E is Ending sentence. The Topic Sentence should've continued off of the last sentence of the paragraph before, and should relate. The Explanation should tell what happened. The ending sentence should continue off to the next paragraph.